wanna go halves on a baby?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
