"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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