The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
