Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
