people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
