Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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