He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
