Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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