got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
