Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
