we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize