My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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