What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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