just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
