Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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