summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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