when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
