Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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