I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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