Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize