god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We have started to decorate penises.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
