my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
