Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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