i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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