I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
