He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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