worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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