I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
