There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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