whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
