and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
