I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
