Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
