I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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