i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
