You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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