yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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