it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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