Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize