dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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