He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
