i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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