Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
