I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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