My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she woke up with a sticky ear
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
