you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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