ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
