Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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