She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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