he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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