where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
