he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
