I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
