I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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