i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
