Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
