i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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