We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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