If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
