You work out of a Hotel?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
