I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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