Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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