thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
