turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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