Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
