my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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