Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
