I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
did you just send me my own nude
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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