So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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