Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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