hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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