So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
