how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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