I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
