i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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