I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
